| Gloomy Days |
[Jul. 23rd, 2006|+|10:45 pm] |
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| |  gloomy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | BROKE | ] |
(sigh)
I was texting the brat today. Reminds me the the good ol' days, you know. We used to be together just like best friends and then girlfriends and then.. gone just like that. Course we're still friends but it such a crappy thing that we broke up but i guess she loved mia that much. I just feel so sad about it , i mean here i am, pouring my heart out and loving her still up til now and she never looked back at me and told me she loved me and she wanted to be with me. She looked back at mia and to that aileah girl, and her girlfriend now who is so many fucking miles away and can't even give chi any comfort she'llr eally feel. I admit i'm jelly. But what can i do, she's my friend and i loveher even more that that and i just cant help but wonder why she won't see me and why she can't feel my love for her. I'm leaving next year for the states and i know I'll miss everyone. i'll miss chi, ynna zeph, grim, koikoy, pao and enz. And we can't visit Faz anymore. We miss ya boi. Rest in peace hun, not in pieces, mmkay? Anyways, there, i won't get to hang out with lots of people i've grown to love anymore, especially my lil brat who is really important to me. sister, best friend, lover. correction. ex-lover. it was great. she said she liked those times but she said she needed a more serious relationship. I offered her that but she said she didn't want to force me to go one and only if i'm not ready. I dont know. I donno if i'm ready yet but if i ask chi to be my girlfriend, i doubt she'll want to be with me. she's got someone. Bonnie. And that fact that even if their far away from each otehr and haven't really met, she loves her so much to hold on to such a thing. Which scares me coz i dont think she'll ever love me that much in that way. I wish I could be Bonnie right now so I can show chi just how much i am willing to do for her. but secondly i'm leaving soon and i dun want to leave her alone. if only i can stay.... but i know I can i just..... even if I stay for Chi, will she want to be with me? I just dun know. Gawd. i can't believe i'm already homesick when i haven't even left yet. i have a few months. i guess i'll spend it with my friends. I'll really miss them all. See ya hunnies. til next time. |
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| amp. Another one of em journals,.. eh? |
[Jul. 8th, 2006|+|08:27 pm] |
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| |  bored | ] |
here we go again with this thing lolx .. i really dont use it even and its my number 2 journal now. my first was ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) trashed_faith like my yaHELL ID but iono it was stupid
,,hope i get this thing updated whenever or have some fucking use for it lolx s'all for ze first entry
see ya |
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